I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
