SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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