Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
