I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
