the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize