You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
In America we eat man semen.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
