I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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