So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
