made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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