That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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