Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
