I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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