shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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