just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
