Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
