As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
