The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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