did you get engaged???
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need to sanitize my soul.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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