apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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