My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
