i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
