Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
