i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
