I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
