So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
