i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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