just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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