actually, I'm a sock model
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
