is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
