I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
