I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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