their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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