hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
