What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
