he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
