Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No stitches, just platelets and will power
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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