all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
