Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
