Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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