I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize