too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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