I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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