He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
