Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
