walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
