Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize