I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
