i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
