This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
