Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
