I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
