The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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