I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
