never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
