six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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