You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
