we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
