have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
