And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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