im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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